The lonely road of retirement

It’s the eve of the new season. The most exciting time in every Rugby player’s life. Weeks of gruelling pre-season drills under the belt, miles of tarmac covered, bleeps ingrained in the psyche. At 3pm tomorrow, the league kicks off.

But instead of being a ball of bursting, bouncing energy – sick with both nerves and excitement – I am typing this on a train home from Cardiff, sending tweets about the beautiful scenery.

I’ve changed.

This is the first time I have not been involved in the build up in anyway. The first time I have literally been on the sidelines looking in and I’m missing it already.

The end of the season was fantastic. A 40-0 County Cup win against Hertford rectified some of the hurt from the year before and secured some well deserved silverware for the Rangers.

I was awarded with the ‘Supporters’ Player of the Year’, which was a real honour. I think it may have been a victory for self promotion rather than genuine achievement but I’m extremely grateful all the same.

I’ve been through the reasons for my apparently early retirement any number of times with anyone who cares to listen! But the main question is – what do you do without Rugby? The categorical answer will come in a week or two.

Pretty soon my life will be a dizzying carousel or soiled nappies and sleep deprivation. And the last thing I’ll want to do is face up to a roid-rage mutant from Ampthill or the like.

The huge chasmic void has so far been partially filled by running and cycling. But it’s just not the same! (Start the violins) There isn’t the same camaraderie, there’s no banter, there’s no sense of group achievement. I’ve enjoyed running for the first time ever and I love cycling…but you can’t escape the sense of belonging that automatically comes with team sports.

I have been to two of Tring’s pre-season games so far. I saw the slightly under-whelming mini tournament between Marlow, Wheatley and Tring. But I was extremely impressed with the performance against Chinnor at Cow Lane.

I missed the first half, which apparently saw Tring concede a few soft scores. But what I saw was extremely encouraging for the oncoming league year. The pack looked very strong and dynamic. New signing French in the Front Row and an enigmatic Italian 2^nd Row certainly gave some extra bite at the scrum…where were they last year?!!

Radders will need to be at his destructive best this year

It was difficult to admit but I was particularly impressed by the new 8, Lawry. He looked strong, athletic, direct and fearsome in defence. One bone-crunching smash on the unsuspecting Chinnor Winger even raised a wry smile on Radders’ battle-hardened features – no mean feat in itself.

The potential problems will be finishing. With no Mataei Express or Liam ‘Sicknote’ Chennells available, who will rack up the points this year?

There is the standard Fly-Half merri-go-round to contend with. First Jimmy ‘No Shower’ Fouracre and now Scotty ‘In-try-ception’ Browne has turned-coat and joined Canterbury. The stage is set for a battle for the 10 shirt.

As for me, I’ve already reduced my retirement to a sabbatical! I enjoy watching…but not when I know I could be playing.

I do love cycling and running and no doubt the competitor in me will enter some races at some point. But it will never replace Rugby and it is only a matter of time before I make a comeback in some shape or form.

Good luck to the Rangers tomorrow - or today when this eventually goes up. Win or lose, it'll be a rocking bus trip back from Westcliffe!

Swan song ends in swan dive

'And now, the end is near
And so I face the final curtain...'  - Frank Sinatra


WARNING: This post may contain generous helpings of self-absorbed introspection...well more than usual anyway!


The Tring Rangers wrapped up our most successful National 3 league season with the brutal 111-7 route of already relegated Havant. It was a merciless way to send down a once great club but also a great way for me to sign off in my last game at Fortress Cow Lane.


The last few weeks of a season are always tough. There is an 'end of term' atmosphere and it is difficult to get any real focus in training sessions. Players are usually held together by tape at this point, desperate to see out the long campaign. One eye is on a summer of DIY and Saturday shopping trips. A few practice cover drives or right arm seam actions can often be seen as well. But John was keen to reign this in and focus on finishing the season with a bang.


The match at Dorking had been extremely disappointing. Bar two errors, we had been supreme in the first half only to be physically dominated in the second. However, we knew Havant would be a different prospect. The Hampshire club had struggled all season and, without meaning to sound too arrogant, we knew it was a case of 'how much' rather than 'if'. But few would have expected the final score.


It took 10 minutes for the floodgates to open. We looked sharp and focused but still bombed a few early chances. However, once Tommy Newton touched down for the first score, our nerves settled and we finished our chances with finesse and aplomb. A Hat Trick for the Mateai Express, and scores from Papa Bear Lamden and Marlen Walker pushed the score well out of reach. A late rally from the visitors lead to a surprise score from Winger Duke but a 43-7 half time score meant the game was safely out of reach.


And then the screw was turned in the second half. Havant's fitness and heart had been broken and we were in no mood for pity. Further scores from Papa, Radders, Tommy, Claps and Scott Browne pushed the score out to 78-7 after just 53 minutes. In truth, I wish I could give more detail on these tries but there were just too many to recall. 


At this point, I was starting to panic. I had still not scored yet and the Naked Mile at the end of season Players' Dinner was looming large in my mind. I was desperately running the best support lines my legs would allow but with little to no tackling, no one was giving up the ball. 


And then, like a prayer answered, Ben Criddle burst through on the right wing. He passed inside to Tommy Newton. As he reached the 22, I screamed almost pleadingly for the ball. He drew the Full-back, popped inside for a glorious trott under the posts and a totally unnecessary, Ashton-esque swan dive!   


But we weren't finished there. More scores from Tommy, Wills, Criddler and JP poaching Cap'n Morgan's certain try meant a final score of 111-7. The highest score in the league that year. They even let me take the final conversion!


So that was it. The end of the most successful season Tring has had and my last appearance at Fortress Cow Lane. Seventh in the league with 13 wins is a fantastic achievement but I think we all recognise a few messy games after Christmas cost us a higher position. 


And what about me? Well, I suffered a lot of abuse on Saturday night from people saying I'm retiring too early! But I feel the time is right. To be honest, it could be more of a sabbatical than a full retirement. In a year's time, or when the Baby is a bit older, I'd like to come back and play at a more social level or maybe do some coaching. But I won't be able to commit to the extra fitness and gym work needed to compete at this level.


I feel I have had my best season for a number of years - possibly ever. My defence has been much improved and I have made more tackles and forced more turnovers than ever. However, I set myself the goal of making the County squad this year which I have failed to do. Ultimately, I did not perform well enough in key matches this year to catch the eye (Bishop Stortford away, Ampthill away, and Bracknell away). Also, one try a season is not an adequate return for a Number 8.

The next generation of Tring Ranger!

That said, it has been a wonderful journey. From my first days in the Centres at Under 12 to now, I have loved every minute. Stand out moments for me have been the win away at Jersey - now a Championship side - the 6-3 thriller in a hurricane at Chingford to secure promotion, and wins home and away against local rivals Bishop Stortford. 


I'll miss the boozy bus trips, the unwavering support both home and away, and, most of all, the unrivalled camaraderie in the changing room. We haven't got the biggest or most talented squad but we are successful because we play for each other.


The most exciting news is that I am expecting a son in September so the next generation of Tring Ranger is already on the way! 


Now...enough of this self-indulgence. Next Sunday sees us compete for the Herts County Cup against Hertford and it would be great to sign off with some silverware.


'...the record shows I took the blows and did it my way!'